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The Power of Forgiveness

Updated: Jun 7, 2021

The next morning (the 9th of March 2020) I woke up with a very heavy heart, it felt like all hell was on my shoulders...

- Why did I allow her to go outside?

- Why didn't I start searching for her earlier?

- How could it happen a few meters next to me and I saw nothing, heard nothing, “felt” nothing? What kind of mom am I?

- Why the Holy Spirit didn't tell me anything?

This burden was so heavy and real …. I was just reaching out to God to uplift it. I am very thankful that the Holy Spirit addressed it. He led me in a prayer …. It was a prayer of forgiveness... I had to ask for forgiveness and to forgive:

- I had to ask Michelle to forgive me for not being there for her;

- I had to forgive myself for not being there for her;

- I had to forgive God for not warning me, and for allowing it to happen.

It was very emotional, I was weeping on my knees.... but after I said “Amen” this very heavy burden fall off my shoulders.

I have never experienced such an immediate effect of my own prayer. I could sense how the room was filling up with the very thick presence of the Lord and His Grace. The enemy didn't have a grip on me anymore - I asked for forgivingness, accepted forgiveness and released forgiveness, the stronghold of self-condemnation lost its power over me. Clarity came back, I was standing on the strong foundation of His presence and deep inner peace.

A few weeks later I woke up with the clear understanding that we have to forgive this guy ….. the guy who took the money, never finished his job and stop answering our phone calls. The swimming pool cover supposed to be in place by December 2019 and it had never happened. The guy did some work on our swimming pool but had never put the cover on it and we struggled to get hold of him.

That day Dirk and I were discussing something and just out of the blue Dirk looked at me and said that we have to forgive this guy, I knew that this is what we should do, so we prayed and released him in forgiveness.

I believe that God gave us the “gift of forgiveness” for this situation. On that day it wasn't difficult or very emotional to follow God's command. But during the next few months, quite a few times I had a strong sense of anger towards this guy and my level of resentment toward him was rising, so I had to remind myself about our decision, I had to align my feelings with God's given instruction.

Forgiveness is not a feeling, it is our choice. We choose to forgive, we choose to let it go. We, as humans, have this ability to think, feel and choose. And we have to align our thoughts, feelings and choices with the principles of God's Kingdom daily.

Of course, I won't recommend this guy to service your swimming pool and we will never use his services in future, but I won't allow unforgiveness to capture me as a prisoner, my inner peace and mental health were at stake.

We forgive because we were forgiven by God. We didn't deserve His forgiveness. In the same manner, we exercise forgiveness (writing off the other people's debts) not because they deserve it, but out of obedience and reverence for God, following His example.

God always has His best interest in us, He commands us to forgive because He knows the power of it - forgiveness makes us free, unforgiveness destroys us from the inside.

It is sad to see how people misinterpret the Bible as the Book, which limits their choices and doesn't allow them to do certain things by calling them sins. For me the Bible is my safety margins, my protection, the more I follow God's commandments the better decisions I make and the fewer regrets I have in life

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